Ross Petras, Kathryn Petras's 776 Stupidest Things Ever Said PDF

By Ross Petras, Kathryn Petras

ISBN-10: 0307764621

ISBN-13: 9780307764621

A connoisseur's compendium of Freudian slips,  spoonerisms, double-talk, and utter bosh from famous  and notorious figures earlier and current -- a  complete path in anti-eloquence by means of the foot-in-mouth  champions of all time.

Note: a prior variation of this e-book used to be released in 1993 through Doubleday. it's the following reprinted by means of association with Doubleday.

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Additional resources for 776 Stupidest Things Ever Said

Example text

Every now and then you find yourself in a different place. George’s Holiday Message Since this book comes out in the fall, I’d like to take advantage of this early opportunity to wish all of you an enjoyable Christmas season and a happy New Year filled with good fortune. Of course, I realize this can’t happen for everyone. Some of you are going to die next year, and others will be crippled and maimed in accidents, perhaps even completely paralyzed. Still others will be stricken with diseases that can’t be cured, or will be horribly scarred in fires.

In no way does superstitious mumbo jumbo like this apply to the lives of intelligent, civilized humans in the twenty-first century. You throw out the first three commandments, and you re down to seven. HONOR THY FATHER AND MOTHER. This commandment is about obedience and respect for authority; in other words it’s simply a device for controlling people. The truth is, obedience and respect should not be granted automatically. They should be earned. They should be based on the parents’ (or the authority figure’s) performance.

His name was Gabriel. He had a trumpet and he appeared to me in the backyard. JOE: He what? MARY: He appeared to me. JOE: Was he naked? MARY: No. I think he had on a raincoat. I don’t really know. He was glowing so brightly. JOE: Mary, you’re under a lot of stress. Why don’t you take a few days off from the shop. The accounts can wait. MARY: I’m telling you, Joe. This Angel Gabriel said that God wanted me to have his baby. JOE: Did you ask for some sort of sign? MARY: Of course I did. He said tomorrow morning I’d start getting sick.

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776 Stupidest Things Ever Said by Ross Petras, Kathryn Petras

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